Kristen Bellamy

Aging Gracefully


When it’s date night anything can happen! I had a reality check the other night while out with my husband. We headed out for our weekly date night, on a Tuesday. Usually this consists of sushi and a movie. Basic, easy and satisfying. What I failed to realize was that it was basketball playoff season. How could I forget? We somehow ended up at a sports bar, of course! And they say women are the masters of manipulation? Anyway, when we arrived we ran into three of his guy friends who were having dinner and watching the game. Being the team player that I am, we ended up sitting with them and having dinner. I knew that would make him happy. Because these were some of my husbands witty, intelligent and metrosexual friends, it was a quite enjoyable evening. Then the tables turned and they started talking about something I never thought men talk about… plastic surgery. It was very enlightening to hear the male perspective on the whole topic of fillers and surgery. Oh, and they definitely had opinions and lots to say. They went on to say that women should leave their faces alone and how they love to see a few lines. “We love to see a woman looking natural and aging gracefully.” Do they know what this means? I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. They listed all of the bad boob jobs and nose jobs they’d ever seen. The obvious and not so obvious. “These guys really pay attention”, I thought. They talked about every overly snatched face from big hollywood names, to our friends and some of who I didn’t even know had surgery. I was shocked, and amazed, that even though I thought these women were hot, they thought they looked every bit their age just with a visible nip and a tuck. Basically I was scared straight and probably the most silent I’ve ever been. I sat there quietly, wondering if they could see my Botox. I tried to listen intently but with great facial expression. When we got in the car I told my husband that it struck me as odd that we are all trying to change ourselves, yet it appears we aren’t fooling anyone, but ourselves. Men and women alike. We change ourselves into a form or being we think will make us more attractive to another, when what we should be striving for is our most beautiful, authentic selves. I mean, if Babs changed her nose, Madonna her gap and Kate Moss got boobs where would we be? In a bad Stepford wives movie! In fact, it is our imperfections that make us beautiful.

Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do whatever we’d like to our bodies. In fact, that is our right as women, as long as it’s not hurting anyone, but shouldn’t it enhance our lives. Or, at least in the end shouldn’t we examine why?

I do believe it was Socrates who said “The unexamined life is not worth living”! Maybe if he’d lived in the 21st century he would have said a “well aged face is not worth cutting.” Ok. I said it.

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