Kristen Bellamy

Calm Down, Caveman!


It always amazes me how my husband seems to find more and more things to put on my plate, as he sashays across the country telling jokes. Now, I know that he works hard for the money and keeps us all afloat and living right. But….  I’ll be damn if I need one more basketball league to drive to, or one more iPod to find or run to Game Stop to replace. I probably have enough to fill my day without running to fed ex to mail the items he forgot to pack. Which leads me to my next question. When one spouse is the primary bread winner and the other is doing everything else, to keep things running is the playing field equal? In my house, yes, but I recently ran into a situation where I was shocked by my friends caveman mentality. My husband and I were having lunch and we ran into a friend. He and his friend sat down and ordered drinks and we had a lovely conversation. When we were done I excused myself and paid the bill. I was in a giving mood and it was a treat, and my pleasure. It was just really nice seeing them. Their response was odd. They quickly thanked my husband, not me. Then proceeded to say how great it was that he worked so hard that his wife could pick up a check. Not for one minute considering that it was my money or that the money he makes while I’m holding it down is OUR money, we are a partnership. That I may, or may not, pick up or pay for anything that I choose to. If it were left to my husband he would not have treated them. They just had such a disrespectful and prehistoric view of me as the woman who paid and assumed that I paid with my husband’s money. At first I was pissed, but then I had to laugh and feel sorry for their wives and the state of their relationships. If at their age they didn’t understand that the sum is greater than its parts, then it probably wasn’t going to happen for them this lifetime. Whether a partnership works with both people working and hiring the domestic goddess to run things, or one person staying home to handle the business of building and raising a family and life, it doesn’t matter. It’s whatever works for your life. In our house it takes both of us always grinding and working hard to keep us living a chaotic, blissful, joyful life. Wherever we are while we are doing this doesn’t really matter. We just know for now, with two young children and two puppies, there are no breaks! Hope you enjoyed the martini, Fred Flintstone.

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